How do you avoid being that arsehole nobody wants to share a bill with? May we present the golden rules of DJing etiquette.
Words: David Pollock
Illustration: Ben Tallon
1. DON'T ask the security to 'sort us out some drinks mate.'
2. DO respect the last DJ’s collection. No throwing their last track on the floor or using their CD wallet as your podium.
3. DON'T overrun even if the last guy did. Be the bigger DJ.
4. DON’T aim the pyrotechnics into the booth or yank out any cables on your way out in a sorry attempt to sabotage the next guy's set.
5. DON'T slag off your fellow DJs on Twitter. Not while you're in the same room at least.
6. DO introduce yourself like a proper human being would do. Between mixes obviously.
7. DON'T finish on a novelty number unless it's the end of the night.
8. DO know your place. Which means no raiding the free beer fridge without having the power to get it re-stocked.
9. DON'T milk it. No fannying about with effects and taking applause while the 3am shift is getting set up around you.
10. DON'T invite strange and disconcerting people into the booth during your set, then fuck off leaving them standing there for the rest of the night.
11. DO say 'Great tune mate!' when the Dj after you drops their first record. Even if it isn't. Friends for life.
12. DON'T rack out a line on the unused vinyl platter and offer it to the DJ about to start without telling them it's industrial grade ketamine.