This weekend I went to see the world final of the Movida Corona's World DJ contest, staged in Vienna.

Throughout 2008, heats across the world slowly narrowed down 15 finalists from different Corona drinking parts of the world. Of those 15, on Saturday afternoon a semi final narrowed this number down to 3 to play at the finals that evening.

Over 500 DJs entered in different legs across the UK alone. The English representative, James Dyson (right, below), won the UK finals at Ministry of Sound earlier in the year.

Sadly for James, he was knocked out of the contest on Saturday afternoon after a channel mix-up on the mixer meant he accidentally played a couple of seconds of silence mid-mix. A gutted looking James, whose parents had driven from Huddersfield to Austria to the watch him, told me: "One of the judges came up to me after and said that it's a mistake anyone could have made. If it wasn't for that I'd have made the final"

But James' early departure from the contest wasn't the only upset. The German entrant was so angry that he didnt make it through to the evening's final he went straight to the airport and flew home immediately, snubbing the final party that night!

The final was held on Saturday night at Vienna's newest club, Prater Dome. The 3,000 capacity club was decked with more Corona branding that you can shake a lime at. With 45 minute sets each, Norway, The Republic of Ireland and Austria made up the three finalist, playing to a packed out club.

After hearing all three sets, my money was on the Republic of Ireland's Johnny Holmes. At the bar, Johnny told me this was the second time he'd entered the comp. Unfortunately for Johnny the judging panel chose the Norwegian entrant who has now won a five date club tour including Pacha Ibiza, Pacha London and Pacha New York.

An upset Johnny text me on Sunday morning jokingly suggesting 'the game was bent' but has since started working on Pacha remixes. Keep an eye out for his name across the UK and Ireland. Congratulations to Norway's DJ Joseph and thanks to Richard, Lisa and everyone at Corona.

OK nobody panic, I'm still alive, still kicking around the odd rave, accidentally insulting DJs, their oldest mates and girlfriends - still going to boring industry dos and running into people I hoped I'd never have to see again - nothing major.

However, I have just recovered from that marathon Sunday session otherwise known as Chuff Chuff: the party in a hotel in the middle of nowhere (actually at Alton Towers' Splash Landings for the second year).

Nine years ago (when I last went) I forgot my outfit for the White Party and at the last minute managed to cobble together from friends in the hotel: a hideous pair of massive white pjyamas with huge red roses on, a white afro wig and a black porno 'tache. (I actually got asked if I was taking the piss by a man wearing a brown suit. Yeah, what do you think?) This year the theme was pirates and everyone had really pushed the boat out (sorry).

Admirals and Captain Hooks, gorgeous wenches and sailor girls in tiny hotpants danced to classics upstairs from the likes of Brandon Block and John Kelly, and there were upfront tunes from Judge Jules, Micky Slim and the gang below deck.

In true Chuff Chuff tradition, the first fire alarm went off around 11pm (rumour has it it was Brandon Block, trying to ruin John Kelly's set) and hundreds of refreshed swashbucklers were forced to stand around in the freezing cold until the fire brigade arrived to switch it off.

Still, it didn't dampen the spirit, and the famous Chuff Chuff room hopping began. We ended up in a suite which came complete with rubber rats, a talking door ("come in land lubbers, and join in!") and a locked treasure chest - solve the puzzle written on the wall, crack the combination, open the chest and claim your riches!

Kaiser Saucy from the Loose Cannons and a couple of shipmates spent over an hour trying to solve the mystery, only to find a single Quality Street festering in the bottom when they finally opened the chest. Saucy storms out, returning later with two bags of sweets. ("I went and complained at reception and they said it was for kids! I don't care!")

Meanwhile, Tolley, Kissdafunk's promoter is moaning about the boring tech-house playing from someone's ipod. "This music's terrible! It's like cobweb house. It's blandient, turn it off!"
Wish granted, we sat in silence waiting for someone to get it together enough to put something else on. "Mmmm," says Tolley. "This is like braille house - it's so cool you can't even hear it, you just have to feel the music." Animal, vegetable, minimal, cobweb...

At ten to nine in the morning there's another fire alarm (bets are on the hotel staff this time, trying to squash the party as check out is at a mind-boggling 10am). Opening my door I find 50 people having a rave up in the corridor, but alas we all have to leave the premesis and have a nice long walk in the freezing cold rain - bollocks!

Back for a last look in the rubber rat room and things have really gone overboard, the talk has now turned to chicken plugging and toe workouts ("Move your toe, to and fro... like Uncle Joe"). It's probably time to make a break for it. Until next year then...

Get up around 10am and order some breakfast and watch Lewis Hamilton win the F1 championship on Mexicos Fox Sports channel. it was bizzare, because of the mexican commentary, we weren't sure if he won it or not, but in the end he did so WELL DONE LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

We walk back across the border into the states while the promoter drives over in a van with all the bags. it takes a bit longer and is stricter getting back into states (obviously) but it all goes smoothly and we wait in 'jack in the box' for the promoter to arrive with out bags. try some 'jack in the box' fries, which are ok, but apparently 'in and out' is the burger joint to check out in california, so will look to do that.

we make the 3/4 hour drive back to LA from San Diego and head straight to LAX airport as Jaqs from Simian is flying back to the UK. he's got a 6 week old boy who he's barely seen as he's been on tour, but then he's got to fly back south america in a few days for the 2 creamfields events there next weekend.

James is staying in LA as hes got a gig playing drums for another band he's in on modnay night, the last shadow puppets (www.myspace.com/thelastshadowpuppets), who's fronted by the lad alex from artic monkeys. we hire a car as we're here for another day, and you basically NEED a car if you're spending any amount of time in LA. As it's all about big cars in the states, the only hire car left is a dodge charger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodge_Charger_(LX)). it's pretty much a beast! our photographer andy is buzzing we've got it to cruise aorund in for a day.

we drop james from Simian off at his hotel on hollywood boulevard (which is totally mint), arrange to meet him later for a drink, and we check in to our hotel in little tokyo. it's amazing just cruising around LA, it really is as you's imagine. all bright lights, billboards, burger and pizza joints and huge hotels.

We head back up to hollywood boulevard to hook up with james in a bar. we get there and he's with the guys from the last shadow puppets, including alex from the artics. we're chatting away with james and then this hot chick offers to buy me a drink, but decline as i have just got one, then after i realise it's that tv presenter, alexa chung, who goes out with alex. for the record she's a lot hotter in the flesh. she's with this small girl with dark hair who james then informs me is kelly osbourne. i didnt recognise her for a second, she's lost a power of weight. a big american dude called josh says hello, and it turns out he's one of the guys from queens of the stone age (i don't really know their stuff). oh, to be in LA, eh? haha. we hang around for a few drinks then call it a day as want to spend time seeing LA tomorrow before we fly back.

The plan is to head down to venice beach, oh, and i have to hit a 7/11 store and get ranch sauce, wheat thins and cherry lifesavers for nicole, one of the girls from the mixmag office (don't worry nicole, i won't forget). So heading back to Blighty soon, will let you know if anything else arises...

So the party in Tijuana was pretty much a riot, really good.

There was a little incident though. i stayed behind at hotel to write my last blog when everyone else headed off to restaurant in tijuana for food before the party. i said i'd catch up at restauranbt in a taxi. well, just my luck i get the most useless taxi driver in mexico. he didnt know where the restaurant was and so drove around the centre of tijuana aimlessly for 40 minutes in the taxi as didnt want to get out the taxi and swan around tijuana myself. being a pasty white, ginger scot, the words 'stick out' and 'sore thumb' spring to mind. When we finally found i though the taxi was going to cost me a fortune but it only cost a measly 5 bucks.

Every second store here in tijuana is a pharmacy, very strange. they freely sell the likes of vicodin, zanex and valium. it's a hectic place, with loud music blasting into the streets from all angles and the odd bouncers try to intice you into the strip bars.

So we head to the party at a club called lobby. i remark to one of the other DJs, Josh, that it's like the foyer of a theatre and the promoter informs me it is. he takes us out back and it turns out to be a decimated, roofless movie theatre that was destroyed by a fire. he says he could fit 4000 people out heren for an event, the potential is amazing.

While we're outside the Simian guys are handed a load of posters to autograph, theyre quite a big deal out here. back inside the 'lobby' and LA DJs Acid Girls are bashing out the electro, though the atmosphere is rather flat. that all changes when Simian's James and Jas jump on the decks and they smash the place till about 5am. We get back to the hotel and get to bed for about 6.30am as we have to heaqd back to LA quite early tomorrow...

After a decent sleep the jetlag was shaken off and we headed down to Tijuana from LA. The four hour journey was really interesting, with the Californian landscape very different from the UK. Lots of palm trees, vast landscapes and car dealers as far as the eye can see. We stopped off in a small town, called San Juan and scored the finest burrito i've ever tasted at good ol' 'Pedro's Tacos'.

Once ditching our hire jeep on the US side of the border we walked across the Mexican border right into Tijuana with extreme ease, a few revolving gates were all it took. though i hear it's a different story getting back into the States.

Tijuana seems exactly as you'd expect, as soon as we enter there are taco stands, pharmacies and bars as far as the eye can see. The promoters friend takes picks us up and drives us to our hotel, which is really smart.

One of the promoters told me i've no need worry about getting beheaded by the cartels here, which was a relief, but rather i need to watch i don't get caught in the crossfire of a drive-by shooting, of which there are 2 or 3 a day here, hmmm, nice!

anyways,it's time to head out now, our crew seems to be building and building, from simians lighting guy, to prs from london looking after comp winners, to the suppoort djs, from LA. has the makings of a very good night so will let you know some more tomorrow people....

Ok, just a quick one to fill you in on last night as we've got to get checked out our hotel directly.

Wow, quite a surreal experience was the Hard 'Haunted Mansion' party (www.hardfest.com) in downtown LA. First i noticed how young looking a lot of the ravers heading to the party, then was informed that there were no age restrictions at the event and you needed a wristband to buy alchohol.

Inside and we found ourselves at the huge 'Hard' outdoor stage where Simian bashed out a rocking live set. They were followed by the electric Soulwax, who were fully kitted out in their white tuxidos and halloween masks. After them it was future Mixmag coverstars Justice to kept the young and highly enthusiastic crowd entertained.

They don't do things by halves out here on halloween and it seemed the outfit for this year was the Sarah Palin look, wonder how many will be dressed as her next year.

The most bizarre goings on in the evening were young ravers off their heads, sitting down and their friends would dance with their hands and lightsticks right in front of their faces while they tripped out mesmerised. hilarious, some of the faces being pulled.

Ok, so best dash of as need to head to San Diego then cross the border into Tijuana. One slight concern was our taxi driver last night warning us of how lawless Tijuana was and shared stories of decapitations, so here's to keeping our wits about us. Though it should still be fun.

So will look to check in again soon, hopefully with my head still intact...

Phew, well that's my first trans-atlantic flight under my belt. 12 hours - heathrow to LA. To be honest it wasn't too bad, draining and boring though. Luckily i had my nicorette gum to hold my hand. Our photographer Andy must have ploughed through about 5 bloody marys and 6 movies on the flight. I opted for some TV (Curb, My Name is Earl, etc) and sorted music on my macbook, etc.

After the long stint through immigration and customs, throughout which we were amused by a robust immigration staff member dressed up as Hannibal Lecter (they love their halloween out here), we got a cab in rush hour to The Standard hotel in Downtown LA. The cabbie wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer but we made it eventually. We passed the famous Staples Centre (www.staplescenter.com) on route, where the LA Lakers ply their trade.

The hotel is very swish and full of fancy dressers. Even saw a dude in a kilt and sporran, which made me feel at home for a second until someone shouted "totally awesome" in a thick LA accent and the moment was gone.

So the plan tonight is a spot of dinner with Simian (www.myspace.com/simianmobiledisco) and their tour management then they've got a gig at a big halloween party (www.hardfest.com) which also has many of their fellow electro protagonists playing including Soulwax, Justice and Boys Noize. Should be interesting with all the costumes on show.

Then tomorrow we're heading down accross the border, to Tijuana, with the band for a gig. If it's reputation is anything to go by, it could get messy.

ok, so will do my best to touch base again soon, time and wifi permitting...later dudes!

That'll be that then, back in Blighty with my first ADE notched on the bedpost and have to say it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Brain and body are still very much in one piece, despite the temptations that the darker, seedier side of 'The Dam' has to offer, and reckon i was fairly well behaved, parties included.

Friday night it was all about the hometown crew at the 100% Pure/Remote Area party @ Flex Bar. The labels, run by Shinedoe and 2000 and One respectively packed out the Flex Bar, even though it was fairly off the beaten track.

Quality music, good people, a Funktion One sound system and the best atmosphere i encountered at the whole of ADE meant this was easily my fave party, though had anticipated this. Rocking techno sets from Shinedoe and 2000 and One and a smart deeper session from Lauhaus were overshadowed by 2 minted live sets from Kabale Und Liebe then District One (AKA Bart Skils & Anton Pieete). Constantly supporting and discovering local talent, i really appreciate what these guys do.

Saturday saw the Minus 'Contakt' circus (www.contakt-events.com) roll into town, Richie, Magda, Troy et al all in tow, worshipping 'The Cube' (www.cubercoolische.com) and Richie. Decided to give it a miss. I've got the utmost respect for Richie, Minus and all they've achieved musically and conceptually, but for me this is all a bit much.

check out this hilarious parody of the film downfall, where Hitler loses the plot, but not because he's lost the war...

It was quite amusing watching 2 British lads bringing a couple of the local female delicaces back to the hotel. A friend commented on the '2 fit birds' before i pointed out what they actually were and then it made sense. Let's just hope their wallets, valuables and clothes are still there come morning.

Another bizarre moment - these 2 middle aged American tourists in a coffee shop scoring some puff then pulling out this big magnifying glass and studying it at the counter. "Wow, look at the crystals on this" commented one of them.

Final verdict on ADE - well worth checking out. Plenty to do, with good parties and Amsterdam's always great to visit.

It's a shame we can't get a 3 day dance music festival/conference like ADE or Sonar here in the UK, though i doubt that it could get the financial support from corporate sponsors over here. Dance music doesn't seem to be something they look to inveast their deep pockets in massively.

ok guys, hope you've enjoyed this, signing off...

Craig

p.s. I'm heading to Los Angeles and Mexico next weekend with Simian Mobile Disco. this is the first 'on tour' type blog i've written here and have enjoyed writing it, so internet connection and time permitting, I'll keep you posted on all the shenanighans out in the ol' US of A, especially as it's election week out there, should be very interesting.

It's the final day of The Red Bull Music Academy and all around me musicians from all over the world are taking advantage of the free bar and letting their hair down after an exhausting 12 days.

Last night we went to hear some of the Academy's student playing at Filini, a club just of Las Ramblas in the centre of Barcelona. Everything from old skool hip-hop to party house was spun into the early hours. We were there til kick out necking questionable green shots being bought by a Sardinian who looked not unlike Michael Douglas.

Today, after a lecture on mastering by John Dent, the students got to showcase the productions they've spent the last 12 days putting together in the Academy's studios. We heard everything from dub-step co-produced by Skream to techno made alongside Zinc.

Names to look our for are London-born singer, Fatima and Irish techno producer Mano le Tough.

Tonight the parting will continue here at the Red Bull Academy until, no doubt, the free bar runs out then its off to Razzmatazz, the nightclub dubbed the Fabric of Barca.

Tomorrow The Academy will be slowly dismantled after two terms teaching its students how to take their productions skills further. We expect to hear big things from a lot of the faces we've met over the weekend. And we' be bigging up our faves in the mag in the next issue. Keep an eye out for it.

It's been a truly miserable day weather wise in Amsterdam today. Never mind Sonar or Miami, even the Detroit Electronic Music Festival must get better weather than this.

However, i do like Amsterdam as a city. it's got a certain quaintness about it, with the trams, Ann Frank-esque buildings and the countless people on bikes. A friend and i shared a curious laugh in the wee small hours of this morning, while outside our hotel having a puff, at the amount of people of all ages riding around a bikes at that time in the morning. bizzare.

Back to the conference and last night's panel about running a record label was very interesting. It featured mostly european dj/producers (German/Dutch) who run labels and Jimpster from the UK, who runs Freerange (www.freerangerecords.co.uk).

What concerned me was the general concensus from the Europeans was that us Brits buy more mp3s than the Europeans, and they support vinyl more. Maybe they have a point, but i for one support the vinyl as much as i can. Even though it's convenient and cheap to burn a few mp3s on CDs, i think we should all support vinyl as much as we can, for the sake of dance music. Ok, mild rant over.

On the party front, the Freerange/8 Bit party at the smart Studio 80 club was cool, then it was onto the Nokia sponsored Ovum party @ MTV Studios with Josh Wink, Steve Bug and D'Julz. A taxi ride under the tunnel to the north part of Amsterdam, the music was really good all night.

Steve Bug, who i reckon is well under-rated, played a mint set that would have rocked Fabric or Panorama Bar (as he usually does) but, as often happens at these big corporate sponsored parties, the atmosphere was quite flat. Josh Wink played a bit deeper than i've usually heard him, and it was very enjoyable.

Bizarre sight of the night was all the gorgeous nokia models running around the party in white jump suits (a la alien autopsy/Altern8). At one point some of them were dancing on stage and lads were grabbing at them. I'd have preferred to see a bit more flesh myself, as they were all lovely.

Tried to be healthy today and eat some fruit...got STUNG for €5.50 for a miniscule pot of fruit salad!

So tonight there's gonna be a few roadblocks with the Cocoon, Innervisions and 100%/Remote Area parties (the latter of which i'll be reviewing for a forthcoming Mixmag). Gonna try and take all three in, wish me luck and will touch base tomorrow...

Ok, so after a few hotel issues (going to the wrong one), we're sorted and are ready to party!!!

Myself and the photographer Graeme got down to the festival HQ and got our passes, wristbands, etc. We also got a rather nice black and yellow satchel, a la Sonar festival, where you always get one. In fact, the initial impression is this is very much similar to sonar, networking through the day and partying at night, without the sun, though today was rather nice.

Funnily enough, when i walked out the HQ I bumped into 2 dutch friends of mine, DJ/Producer Dylan '2000 and One' Hermelijn (http://www.myspace.com/2000andone), who runs a few labels out here (100%/Remote Area/Area Remote) and Sandy Huner, who he runs them with. They took me down to Studio 80, where they're talking on a panel with Jimpster from UK deep house label Freerange.

Brilliant! Studio 80 is a stone's throw from my hotel...RESULT!!! So there's a Freerange party there tonight, then later on we're going to go to Josh Wink's 'Ovum' label party @ MTV Studios (www.ovum-rec.com). My mate Kim works for Josh and she's basically a rave legend, so looking forward to partying with her tonight.

On a funny note, for some strange reason there's a metal 'Heineken' bottle opener right next to the shower, in the bathroom of our hotel room. those crazy Dutchies, eh? unless someone can tell me why it'd be there?

On a bad note, there's no smoking whatsoever in the hotel. damn ban came in a few months ago here, grrrr.

Anyways, i'm off out now, but will post again tomorrow, let you know how tonight goes...

Craig

p.s. check out ade at www.amsterdam-dance-event.nl

We´re taking a few field trips this week at Mixmag.

While the Editor, Nick DC, hits the clubs in LA and our Clubs Ed, Craig, enjoys the delights of the Amsterdam Dance Event I've come to Barcelona to check out the Red Bull Music Academy.

For two weeks, 30 young up-and-coming musicians get put up in Barca to spend each day in a ex-fabrics factory which has been turned into a series of studios to get creative in.

Each day the musicians get two hour long lectures from industry big wigs. This week they´ve seen everyone from Public Enemy's Chuck D to reggae heroes Sly and Robbie.

Today, I joined the lecture hall to hear hip-hop heavy hitter DJ Toomp - the man who bagged Kanye West's Grammy for his production of 'Good Life' not to mention producing for Jay-Z and Nas.

In a Q+A session after the lecture a cheeky Goldielocks (the Uk dub-pop producer you'll find on the cover of the new Mixmag) asked Toomp for an internship! We spotted her slipping him a CD after the lecture too.

Now the days lectures have finished the 30 chosen ones have disappeared to the kitted up production suites to continue working on tracks, before heading into the night to party in Barcas clubs tonight. They've been doing this every day for the past 12 days - tomorrow is their last day here when we'll get to hear all the music they've produced.

I'll let you know how I get on in the clubs tonight and which new artists to keep an ear out for after the listening session tomorrow.

18.09.08
Ok so I forgot to do this last week! I hope I can be forgiven as I've become slightly more nocturnal recently than I ever was! Anyhow... the 18th September was fantastic. I'd been away from all DJ consoles for 3 weeks and was itching to get in one (Cream Amnesia or the Disco at my local, either would do)! I boarded my flight at Gatwick knowing that I land in Ibiza 30mins before I'm due on at Cream. Any delay at this point would mess everything up and lets be frank here, 16 flights to and from Ibiza this season so far with just the 1 40min delay back in July is pretty jammy, so I guess I was due one?! Well...no I made it on time, we met Dean Ramirez who came in 5mins before me from Manchester and drove straight to Cream.

I got into the booth at 2.25 with 5mins to spare to a packed terrace and opened up with my remix of The Presets, followed by a lot of the tunes I'd been hoarding in my 3 weeks off! I have to say there's been a few times this season where I've had a very good one, but tonight was excellent! I guess I was buzzing off my very punctual arrival straight off the non-delayed plane. Simple things eh?! Dean Ramirez took to the controls after me for his last visit this year and rocked it with a record I forgot to play... Adam Shaw's 'D.O.G.' on Mau5trap- it wobbles nicely, alot! Closing next week... not sure I want it to end yet! :(

25.09.08
I've not experienced closing in Ibiza, until now of course. Cream @ Amnesia has been fantastic for me all season, and my last show closing the Mixmag Terrace had to be an exciting farewell, so I had a couple of specials up my sleeve to unleash, plus some old tunes I'd re-edited. Chris Lake was on before me and I have to say he'd absolutely taken the roof off with his last 3 tunes... 'Insomnia' was in there with something else, finishing with 'Cafe Del Mar'. I headed into the Mixmag Terrace at such a peak-time and to be honest I'd not been the other side of the console much this year (Radio 1 Weekend being an exception) where I felt the magic in there like that. Hats off to Chris - he'd rocked it!

The vibe was incredible, with no room to walk through hardly - it was ridiculously full! I got on with things as usual in there, playing all the biggies for me in that room this year... Zoo Brazil, Laidback Luke, Xpress2, the usual stuff but a couple of edits I did really made the difference. I managed to merge 'Gechts Nocht' with a track called 'Speakerhumper' which was never going to fail, plus a cheeky bootleg of Steve Angello's 'Gypsy' and 'Sweet Dreams' seemed to finish things off nicely for an amazing Cream Ibiza '08 for me and the crowd (I hope)! 4-6 went so quickly and you always feel that you could do more on an occasion like that, but it was a fitting end to a great season at Cream on the Mixmag Terrace.

I have to say a huge thankyou to Mo and the rest of the team at Cream for making me so welcome, and looking after my guests so well. Scott & James Barton were caught raving away a couple of times and it was a pleasure to be a part of their setup this year, so thanks to them especially! I have to also say cheers to Stu my driver (he'll get upset). And 1 last 'cheeeeers' to Mixmag and the readers of this blog. It's been a pleasure to report back from the White Isle this year... Cya '09!

Spoons x

Simian Mobile Disco have been asked by Nike+ to create a track perfect for training to.

To celebrate its launch today, Nike invited me down to a gym in Soho to train to the track.

Despite regularly getting an aerobic heart-rate and sweating while listening to Simian Mobile Disco in clubs, festivals tents and warehouses this would be the first time I'd do it in a gym.

The 30minute track has been produced at varying tempos so at to warm you up, build up 'the burn' then warm you down again.

Having not visited a gym in about eight years I was a little nervous but after being kitted out in Nike trainers and gym gear all that was missing was a Nike branded inhaler.

Thankfully for my unfit body I didn't have to do a full 30minute work out. After a warm up session with the gyms resident trainer/drill sergeant I was put on a treadmill and given the 5 minute edit to listen to.

It's a great track, not just acoustically but the fact that it was built with a purpose. The five minutes went quick and maybe it was the endorphins, but I felt I could have gone on a lot longer.

You can download the full 30 minute track today.

We've also squeezed a sneaky edit of it on to the next Mixmag covermount CD mixed by Riton. Look out for that on the November issue of Mixmag, out October 23.

Well the God of Rave has certainly dished me out some clubbing karma in the last fortnight. Had too much fun at the SE1? Here, have two shit weekends in a row. De nada, my pleasure.

When I used to visit a ridiculous amount of clubs in a year, living out of a suitcase and staying everywhere from Mrs Miggins' B&B in Skegness to the Miami Delano, the Hyatt in Birmingham was always my most favourite hotel - and so on the 20th September I returned to the scene of many crimes.

Stepping into my room on the eighth floor brought back memories of the time when Wall of Sound's bad boys came back for a drink and tried to break the window with a bottle of gin, before smashing the glass table and leaving, saying "we're not sorry". Or the time when a bone fide pop star crashed our room party and offered to buy a line of coke for fifty quid "because I can afford it". Oh yes, many happy mornings at the Hyatt...

As it turned out, ordering room service was about the most exciting thing that happened on this occasion. We went to The Club Which Must Not Be Named (politics, sorry) expecting glitz and glamour, and all we got was sweaty.

Everyone knows that the laws of clubbing dictate that the further you travel, the more fun you must have to make up for the suicidal journey home the next day. So when you're hundreds of miles from home and you get that sinking feeling - the feeling that this night out is actually a huge, smelly turd - what can you do? Well there's only one thing for it. Get terribly and unequivocally drunk, of course! Two double vodka Red Bulls for fifteen quid? Brilliant, I'll have eight.

So I had higher hopes for my night out at Renaissance at new London club matter on 27th September. Sounded great, looked great in the papers, what could go wrong?

I should probably mention here that I know it's not the club's fault I had such a terrible night. Apart from looking like a giant urinal (what's with the public toilet-themed decor and people-sized troughs?) it's actually a pretty decent venue. But I seem to have some anti-Fabric force field (I was pushed down the stairs on the opening night of Fabric and haven't had a good night there since) so maybe it just transferred itself to their new venue.

Anyway, the night got off to a flying start when the two mates I'd arranged to go with blew me out at 8pm. The person who was supposed to 'sort things out' went AWOL. When I actually made it to the club, the bass in the main room was so loud it killed my throat and made me feel sick, and the music in room two was - shall we say uninspiring?

I couldn't even get drunk and forget about it because I was driving, I pulled someone eleven years younger than me and it just made me feel really old, the only DJ I wanted to hear didn't even turn up, then when I left at 4am I found my car had been stolen!

So I walked around the car park for half an hour in disbelief, (car horns hooting me, rude boys shouting "whitey!" at me and trying to 'get my digits') before realising I was standing in the wrong fucking car park and my car was actually fine.

In summary: I am considering staying in for the rest of my life.

OK, I admit it. I did “a Danny Rampling” and retired. Chucked the disco lights and sticky dancefloors in for a normal life. I did normal people things like giving up drugs, cigarettes and caffeine. I bought a flat. I wrote a book. Like Mr Rampling, I didn’t open a restaurant and I didn’t go completely bonkers. But too much normality is hazardous to your health and so one spring evening I decided to make a quiet comeback. Now I’m back after a nice refreshing rest, and almost worse than before (if you remember my columns in Mixmag you deserve a long service medal).

So here begins my sequel, my further adventures in clubland, an honest look at what’s going down around town… and maybe even outside the M25, you never know.

Friday 12th September was the first part of Ministry of Sound’s 17th birthday and The Gallery had rustled up an old skool line up of Danny Rampling, Tall Paul, Seb Fontaine, Luke Neville and Mark Moore. Don’t forget your zimmer frame!

The club was busy, everyone from suits to tracksuits to tourists to the Gallery faithful… but there was definitely something missing – probably the Turnmills atmosphere. I bumped into the Gallery’s door grand wizard Tom in the smoking area and he lamented the last hours of Turnmills. “The cleaners came in and stripped all the stuff from the office before we had chance to take anything which had sentimental value. We were still there having a drink on the Monday afternoon after the closing and the builders were knocking down the back of the club. I mean – have a heart!”

I wonder what would happen if ALL the clubs in London except the MoS close down, leaving punters with little choice but to go to south London and drink their rancid Ministry vodka of a weekend? Hangovers, that’s what. Thanks to three evil vodkas on their premises I woke on the Saturday with a vicious hangover. But I battled through it to get to Sick! On The Dancefloor at SE1 on Saturday 13th.

It was a total sell out event with Bombsquad Records in the main room and Hoi Palloi and Dirty Funkers in the other two arches.

The SE1 is not the kind of venue that gets my heart racing (the familiar smell of damp dog greeted us on arrival) but there were all forms of life on the dancefloor and they were, to use 90s parlance, ‘well up for it’.

I’d not been in the club five minutes when I saw a Chinese couple in their 60s skanking around by the bar. Apparently last time Bombsquad played, there were five girls “in average Primark bras” having a multi-level podium fight. Brilliant!

With entertainment tonight coming from a thrusting, strutting and gurning lady dancing by the decks and kicking drinks over everyone, it seemed you were never far away from an over-friendly face. Suffice to say the dancefloor mutated into extras from Night of the Living Dead come 4am, but the music was phenomenal. Stupid Fresh, Micky Slim and even the Loose Cannons (who weren’t billed but drove up from their gig in Brighton) ran tings from one in the morning until gone six – heavy basslines, rave attitude, bit of electro, hip hop stylings, and last tune of the night when the lights came on – Earth Wind and Fire’s ‘Let’s Groove’ – they totally smashed it.

Later, like all the best after-parties, I found myself in a sweaty King’s Cross Travelodge with a load of boys who were wrestling each other, singing like Gizmo from the Gremlins and being sick on the carpet. Ah, how I’ve missed this shit.

We look back at the Ibiza Season of 2008 and ask the island's beach bar residents what tune will remind them of this summer...

Paul van Dyk has a digital only release coming up this week. And he's done an exclusive 5 minute documentary for Mixmag.net to celebrate. Enjoy!

10 days in Ibiza (amongst 8 trips out there this year) can be enough for some but when you have to return to play Cream on the Mixmag terrace, the incentive is very different! The break we had a couple of weeks back was great but I was ready to go home by the end of it and catch up with stuff in Spoonland. That hasn't lasted long though and I couldn't wait to get back to the white isle. So here I was again at Gatwick with my Girlfriends brother in tow from Canada this time for his first Ibiza experience trying to explain what you can't... leaving him with "just wait and see"!

It's fair to say Canada was well represented in Ibiza on 21st August, with Deadmau5 following my set on the Mixmag Terrace... even though his head had been lost in transit from Amsterdam! An unusually slow start to proceedings though as the busses from around the island were late in. by 1.30 it was filling up rapidly as I went on, 15 minutes later it was pretty much full. A couple of the biggest tunes on the night were once again 'Technik' by Zoo Brazil and a new yet unofficial verson of Sebastien Leger's 'Bad Clock' by Kam Fai! Deadmau5 took control with his live show straight after although we only caught 15mins of it sadly due to a mad rush back to the airport.

So we'd lost my girlfriends brother for a good hour or so, then found him after my set backstage with the dancers having had too many shots. Let's just say his first Ibiza experience was the first of many, and I know he'll be insisting on going to Cream again, but without the hangover he endured on the plane home straight afterwards... the 5.35am BA flight straight after a club is enough to sober you up very quickly let me tell you!

Roll on 18 Sept, a few weeks away but can't wait all the same!

ZZZZZzzzzzz...
Spoons x

Yo-yo yo!!

It's your guest blogger, Katie Dick here, as your beloved Duncan went to discover Bora Bora and some wild beach parties...

So here we come with few dirty details of last night’s Space party. It was packed as ever, and we realised that Mixmag is not as mighty as we thought: spending 1.5 hours in the queue before even getting into the corridor is not what our spoiled group has been used to in the last couple of days. Mind you, if you are a certain American star from a certain hit US TV series this time can be reduced to 30 seconds...

Once we were inside we could get lost in the newly renovated and designed universe. If you dreamt about seeing Carl Cox, forget it now. The main room was so packed you could not squeeze a needle in there.

Our choice was The Terrace, where the Freemasons were spinning the records. Time passed quickly and suddenly we noticed it was six in the morning and, because of the new laws in Ibiza, our fun time was to be rudely cut in half any minute. This gave us the new mission of the night/morning: find a place to carry on the good time. Last year Ibiza was packed with after party possibilities. Now the once always buzzing city centre is strangely empty and silenced. But if you look carefully and you have a big amount of luck, like we did, you can find Ibiza town’s only after party place. Open from 8am till 2pm, it gives you just enough time to get ready for the next night out and to get your sorry buttocks back to your hotel with a promise to yourself never again to party till 1pm.

So here we go again: after sleeping through the afternoon and the maid’s attempt to wake us up, once more we are getting ready to conquer Ibiza. You can read about our latest adventure later on this evening/morning. So stay tuned and I will be back.